Experienced the wrath of mom-shaming? What's your story.
My first two pregnancies were pretty easy. After the second pregnancy I found out I couldn’t carry again. I was shamed online for being greedy and wanting to use a surrogate when I already had two children. It was also assumed I wanted a surrogate because I was lazy and didn’t want to gain weight. How horrific is it to send such hurtful messages to a woman grieving the pregnancy she wouldn’t get to have? My husband and I made embryos from my egg and his sperm and still went ahead with our plans.
If any line of work needs inspo, it's motherhood. What type of mothers inspire you?
Women who decide they will make a better life for their children and communities as well as women who improve their minds and focus on being the best versions of themselves.
Sometimes we're all BAD MUTHAs. When did you go against traditional advice?
I started off being a “BAD MUTHA” by ignoring traditional advice and having two homebirths. Since then, I’ve broken lots of rules and always done what was best for my child or family.
"I was shamed online for being greedy and wanting to use a surrogate when I already had two children. It was also assumed I wanted a surrogate because I was lazy and didn’t want to gain weight. How horrific is it to send such hurtful messages to a woman grieving the pregnancy she wouldn’t get to have?"
Better worlds start with better moms. How can the motherhood community improve?
Be a BAD MUTHA. Know one. Raise one. Be one. Support one.
We all need a champion. Who in your life consistently supports your full spectrum of parenting choices?
The women in my family and the community of mothers around me are very supportive. Building your community is so important.
Who in your life do you support without judgement?
Mothers around me because ultimately, they are doing what’s best for their families and children.
Rewind. Has your mother ever shared a moment about her being a BAD MUTHA?
There are many. Everyone told my mother to put me on a childhood drug for ADHD so I would sit still in school. She didn’t entertain it and now doctors are very controversial on the effects of the part of the brain that controls motivation. Good thing she didn’t, as I may not have accomplished half of what I have, which still isn’t enough. But you know what? If she had chose to, that’s also her choice and the positives may have outweighed the negatives. I truly believe only a mother ultimately knows what’s best. I still have a problem sitting in the office now and am the worst in meetings. My best ideas come when I’m moving.
Fast forward. What parenting insight will you share with your child if/when they become a parent?
Trust your instincts. Parent the way you want to parent. Listen to parenting audiobooks or read to gain knowledge from experts when you have the time. Figure out what your values and traditions are and hold to them. Evolve as necessary.
How do you like to MUTHA yourself and ensure you still have some 'me' time?
When my kids go to sleep, I love to take a long shower, then soak in the bath with a face mask on and take my time with a long drawn out skincare routine. My routine always ends with MUTHA Body Butter, which I call my “Body Sleep Mask."
Anything else you want to share about Motherhood?
Motherhood comes in all kinds of forms. It doesn’t take having a child of your own. You could have mothered your niece, your friend, a step child or your own mother. It’s an energy and essence you put out that helps to take care of the world. The mother can take the place of many, but no-one can take the place of the mother.